Your hands, your feet too. Oh, and your eyebrow ridge will get all bulgy. Your hair might fall out though.

But don’t try this at home. Or anywhere else for that matter.

I’ve been to Keeble and Shuchat’s three times. The first time, the staff completely ignored me due to the highly visible aura of ignorance around my entire body. The many stories about their snottiness seemed to be quite true. When I was looking to get a light tent, I wandered in again, just to check what they had against what was available online for lots less.

The third time was, of course, the charm. Having placed my order at Cho’s for potstickers and eggrolls, I had a little time to kill. K & S is just down the street. I decided to test the mettle of the help, who began melting away as I approached a counter. Any counter. One lone fellow stayed behind, certain to be the brunt of many a joke for even speaking to a woman. Surely, if a female photographer was full of herself, and wanted to be taken down a few notches, K & S is the perfect spot.

I asked to see one of the vintage cameras at the very top of the back shelf, a Rolleiflex in excellent condition. After all, this being Palo Alto, I could well have the price of the thing tucked into a compartment of my trendy running shoe. He was overweight, fretful. Nervous that I was actually handling such a camera. I held it for almost ten minutes, which is how long Cho said it would take.

Then I went to get my potstickers.

I’m still polishing off turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce. A friend told me once that she only truly enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner when all the hubbub was done, and the pressure was off. Nothing being timed in the oven, no sink full of dishes. No carcasses.

There’s even a container of candied yams left.