Human leg, that is. As I understand it, the owner became separated from it in after a plane crash. Then he put it in the freezer. Then he hung it on a fence. (I sense that he had a problem finding eligible women.) Then he kept it in his barbecue. Along came financial difficulties. The barbecue was auctioned off. The new owner was horrified at the bonus inside. However. He knew a money-making (Halloween) scheme when he saw it.

However. Word got to the previous owner, who demanded it back.

Nowhere in this story is there a hint of how the leg is being preserved.* I got the freezer part. But afterward, was he smoking it in the barbecue? Doesn’t a leg get an ick factor with time? Is that where the Halloween part occurs, and what is that awful stench?

* Ah yes, it’s currently in the local morgue.

I don’t see many, thank goodness, but the few that show up are unique. This morning, I had living proof that Maytag repairmen, are a breed unto themselves, and must spend a lot of time with not much to do, as the ads said. I’ve never met one that was less than extremely competent.

First, he called to ask if the appointment really was necessary. This took me aback. The machine was producing hot water when we selected cold wash. Patiently, he asked if someone had been messing with the back of the machine, as in pulling it out to clean, disconnecting the cables, and then putting them back wrong. Well, no.

He did show up, first call of the day, he said, 8: 00 a.m. Not three minutes after he looked at the machine, he called out, ‘You aren’t going to like this.’

I had visions of a $500 service bill. But no. He shook his head sadly, and regretted that he had to come all the way out just to tell me the machine worked just fine. Apparently, the sensors can tell if the water is too cold, and add hot water till the ideal ‘cold’ temp is reached.

He was so sincere, and kept referring to the manual, which I really, really should read (I did not go and find it because he would just turn to the right page that I didn’t read). It was all I could do not to laugh. This situations always strike me as being less tragic than repairmen make them out to be. Then he launched into a lecture on why the hot and cold cables are hard to distinguish, and the ways in which people forget which is which.

The family member who complained of the hot water was pretending to be asleep. The machine is in the hall right outside his door , so I knew the commentary was heard.

He is the one who explained the curious appearance of the last memorable repairman, the guy who fixed the dishwasher. I had great difficulty not staring at the man’s chin, which had the curious braid of facial hair. And the usual suppression of giggles.

Now, of course, I know that some people who favor metal music go for a look that must involve a lot of time in front of a well-lit mirror.

But yeah, next time I pull out the washing machine to confront the surely gross mass of dust back there, I’ll be able to put the cables where they belong, now that I know that the h and the c are indicated by little holes.

The photographer was taking photos of soldiers and protesters when he was shot. Footage can be seen here.