One of my elderly neighbors continues to feed pigeons, which means that some of the less intelligent ones seek out my yard. When they land, a strong blast of the hose is enough to discourage them. Till they forget.

Lately, whenever I look up from my work, I see just one pecking away. If I go out and spray, it leaves, but somewhat slowly. A family member pointed out what I failed to notice in my haste to shoo it away: this pigeon only has one leg.

Well, now that’s different. Sorta. I stopped using the hose, but wave my arms instead. I just don’t like pigeons and all the stuff they leave on the car and driveway. So when I glance out, what I mostly see are the 50 tomato plants on the patio trying desperately to get some sun. In between them, there’s a bluish fat pigeon peeking out now and then.

When I wave my arms, it flutters to the top of the fence as if checking to make sure I’m hostile. Or if I’m tossing out handfuls of food.