A week-old chocolate dipped cone left uncovered in the freezer should not be eaten. Don’t ask.

Fortunately, there is no photo of the moment.

Yesterday I made ganache. Shaving all that chocolate is very labor-intensive, and reminded me of why I don’t do this every week.

How and why a fan of the game built a court in his backyard.

If you feel you are lord of all you survey, then it’s likely you will have a selective eye. Virtual Earth sees neither Apple headquarters in Cupertino nor the place of alien autopsies.

Well, mostly animals anyway. You might be thinking, how much of this is due to clever software. And most importantly, at what stage does a plant transcend its classification and becomes an animal.

For the sake of argument, let’s suppose the head of Napa cabbage is for real. If someone has actually harvested something of that size, then as far as I’m concerned, it’s a beast.

Being a fairly new fan of the now defunct sci-fi series ‘Farscape’, I am aware that ‘peacekeeper’ is not always a positive, calming word.

But that, of course, is all fiction. Today the Beeb reports that France is sending 1,600 troops to join the UN peacekeeping forces in Lebanon.

I often joke that my Powerbook can double as a cooking device because it heats up so much. Now Apple announces that it is replacing the lithium-ion batteries in the G4 12-inch iBook, 12 and 15-inch PowerBooks.

But not the 17-inch.

I usually precook the crust, and being distracted, left it in the oven a bit longer than usual. After adding the toppings, most of which are not visible here due to the cheese and mushrooms, the crust turned out very crunchy, which was a welcome change.

Speed-eating 26 ears of corn in 20 minutes, Emily Cotterill beat out three big male opponents. She’s 13.

Just before waking this morning, I dreamed I was taking the SAT again. Naturally, I didn’t study the right things and had to leave a lot of blanks. This would have been truly disturbing, but the tester called back those in my predicament, and we got a second chance of a few extra minutes. I was in the middle of writing an essay on the side effects of antidepressants (no, I don’t take them) when the ‘pencils up’ command came. To my horror, I kept on writing. Till I woke up.

I’m really tired today.

A compelling one today of smoke flares and wingtip vortices.

This morning I made a few, but need some blueberries, kiwi and other fruits for a better color range.

Bicolor corn has names like Peaches and Cream or Chubby Checkers. The ears I bought last weekend at the farmers’ market are still crunchy and perfect for a summer lunch. Because that’s all I’m having, there’s Plugra melting on top.

Fans of Braveheart remember the vivid blue paint Mel Gibson and his followers wore into battle. That paint is derived from woad, a plant in the broccoli family that contains large amounts of glucobrassicin, a powerful anti-tumor compound that is especially effective against breast cancer.

Or what happens if a terrorist is asked to take a sip or two of his milk or juice in front of airport security.

When AOL goes looking for gold bars in suburban backyards, it comes up with some heavy duty loot. The kind of stuff most of us see only in caper movies.

Users of the service will be the ones with a chance at the gold, the vehicle and $75,000 in cash.

When my laptop gets hot, I elevate it on large juice bottletops at each corner. Not exactly a good match for my Powerbook, but it’s hard to find titanium lids. A son uses those large flat erasers. But when he actually uses his laptop in his lap, I start muttering about the genetic dangers of such a practice.

Enter the Lapinator, which weighs less than a pound, and is much cooler looking than bottletops. Plus it will help insure that there will be future generations.

Yesterday I went for a Sunday afternoon walk with a friend. There we were, crossing with the green light when my friend screams, and I look up to see a car coming right at me. Nice to know that I freeze in place when something like this happens.

If the driver had been going a little faster, I wouldn’t be here today. The sun was not in his/her eyes, we were in the crosswalk, and it was broad daylight. But I guess none of that matters anymore. Sheesh.

When a friend hosted two students from China recently, she said they could not get enough of The Simpsons during their brief stay.

Looks like they were wise to get a good fix while they could.

With four million Flickr users and their 200 million uploaded photos, that’s quite a database of images. But will customers be lining up to buy?

Obviously, or it wouldn’t have brought its luggage today. We do have citywide free wifi now, after all.

I tried to get a closer look to see if the missing leg was an aberration of nature or the result of human/animal tampering in some way. But its pigeonness got to me first so I waved my arms wildly. It did not leave the yard.

Well, eventually it did, but I had to chase a bit. If the resident gnome had any kind of pity in its heart, it would fashion some kind of prosthetic device out of twigs maybe, or a miniature crutch.

One of my elderly neighbors continues to feed pigeons, which means that some of the less intelligent ones seek out my yard. When they land, a strong blast of the hose is enough to discourage them. Till they forget.

Lately, whenever I look up from my work, I see just one pecking away. If I go out and spray, it leaves, but somewhat slowly. A family member pointed out what I failed to notice in my haste to shoo it away: this pigeon only has one leg.

Well, now that’s different. Sorta. I stopped using the hose, but wave my arms instead. I just don’t like pigeons and all the stuff they leave on the car and driveway. So when I glance out, what I mostly see are the 50 tomato plants on the patio trying desperately to get some sun. In between them, there’s a bluish fat pigeon peeking out now and then.

When I wave my arms, it flutters to the top of the fence as if checking to make sure I’m hostile. Or if I’m tossing out handfuls of food.

The truck was moving 25 penguins, an octopus and several fancy fish to a tourist attraction in Galveston. As trucks sometimes do, it overturned, spilling out the penguins and the others, who were protected by plastic bags. Some of the bags, unfortunately, spilled their contents as well, and some fish didn’t make it.

The octopus survived. Most of the penguins huddled in a ditch, and will get to compare notes on exactly what happened. A few died.

It’s currently around 92°, and all 50 of the tomato plants are starting to droop even after being watered last night. (More on those later.) But after enduring temps of 112° and possibly higher for more than a few days, with nights hovering around 84°, we’re toughened up.

Not that 92° is sweater weather. But I can actually function. It’s not supposed to get much hotter this week, but just in case, there’s an unopened tub of chocolate fudge swirl in the freezer. Plus the Cherries Garcia that is also not tapped into yet.

As opposed to other less-barbaric sounding methods. Plus how to tell if the seal pup is actually dead.

In case it comes up in conversation.

What or who is Udderbelly?
a) The latest cow that escaped from a slaughterhouse and emerged a heroine
b) A new band whose members are all morbidly obese
c) the Anti-Cow
d) Performance venue shaped like a cow

Hint: it’s purple

A friend hosted two students from China recently. They were puzzled by the 112° weather, but came bearing gifts from their local WalMart. The bag is pretty much the same except for the Chinese characters, but the word WalMart is in English. Yesterday, I became the recipient of most of these gifts, which make great photo props.

At the Rising Sun Anger Release Bar, a customer can ask a staff member to dress up as someone he would like to beat up. Then he can do so. It’s all part of the plan.

Glassware can be destroyed, and yelling is also permitted. Spraying the aquarium with real bullets is frowned upon, however.

That last was not part of the story, but it was such a memorable scene in F/X.

Can’t we all just take a deep, cleansing breath?

This has been on my list of must-sees for some time, mostly because the soundtrack is excellent driving and working music. Because butt doubles have been brought up recently, George Clooney’s bare rear was the subject of much discussion, even after we finished and went out for ice cream.

I had been given a hint of what the movie was about, so I was on guard. It was still entertaining, but then I’m not real choosy on a Sat. night when there’s homemade pizza that’s much better than bought.

I don’t eat it as often as I should, but tonight I stir fried it with pork, onion and shiitakes. If I had thought of it in time, marinating the pork would have been nice, but who has the time for this kind of thing on a Friday that feels kind of hot.

Must be those Easterners blaming us for all their heat woes.

By James Gleick, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami and Lost in Translation by Nicole Mones.

When I’m not doing other stuff that is.

The sexy look of a high heels plus the comfort of a flat. In one shoe. You’re kidding, right?

An idea whose time has definitely come, and one that should be implemented on the majority of high heels.

Frankly, there can’t be a more fun way to cool off (if you don’t mind a Coke shower) for a very small outlay of cash. It helps to have a bunch of little kids around to watch, and maybe even help.

And now, of course, there is a contest and some creative additions and variations to the mix.

Note to my kids: You will notice that everyone runs like crazy at the critical moment. Well, almost everyone.

If you regularly lift more than half your body weight, doctors advise that you’d best get your heart checked. Young and healthy lifters are in danger of torn aortas if they have an undiagnosed aneurysm or an enlargement of the aorta.

Unfortunately, death often occurs because doctors do not think to look for a torn aorta when fit young men show up in the emergency room with chest pains.

The citizens of Lyme Regis in the UK have hurled dead eels at one another for some 30 odd years. It’s a much-anticipated event (conger cuddling, it’s called) of ‘Lifeboat Week’ with funds raised going to the Royal National Lifeboat Institution. Two teams of nine each stand on flowerpots while a large eel on a rope is utilized to knock as many off as possible, with the last man still standing declared the winner.

However, and there’s always a ‘however’, the animal rights people heard about it. Or should I say, the dead animal rights people.

This year, a buoy was substituted. Needless to say, the traditional spectacle lost some of its charm.

Hold onto your hats and roofs, it’s that time again. Chris is expected near Florida by the weekend, and just might become the first hurricane of the season.

The legend goes like this: when infertile women came to a local shrine and asked that they be blessed with children, the wish might be granted. However, the first child will be a ‘chua’, or what is referred to by residents as a ‘rat person’ due to the skinny face, sloping forehead and protruding teeth. This firstborn must be given to the shrine or else the woman will only produce chuas. These facial characteristics are also indicative of microcephaly.

Some said that priests might be guilty of retarding the growth of otherwise healthy babies by attaching clamps on their heads. Experts disputed this, saying that such deformities cannot be caused by human tampering. They pointed out that a certain percentage of Pakistanis living in Britain also suffered from this condition.

Then a Leeds geneticist stepped in, resulting in an encouraging future for families who carry the genetic mutation.

Why you shouldn’t give a striped tie to a business associate in the UK, why a light-colored suit is a no-no in Japan and tips for the job-hunter whose potential employers take him out to a meal.

Such a meal can be a minefield of etiquette testing, and one applicant loses his chances when he wads up the foil around his baked potato and leaves it on the table.

So what exactly is the right way to deal with the foil other than bouncing it off the salt and pepper shakers?

Designed for use in hospitals and nursing homes, it looks like a Gund bear, but has cameras in its eyes, microphones in its ears, and a PC within its stuffing. Huggable can interact with its primary human, and give important information on its human’s condition to doctors and other caregivers.

A discussion of his extremely well-executed style.

Some days all you can hear are the juvenile birds begging their parents for a handout. The black-headed birds, the brownus birduses and the young raven can get pretty raucous at times, following the adults around. But it’s a nice kind of noise. When I spot them, the babies still vibrate their wings when they beg like they probably did in the nest.

Not today. The fence guys are back with their nailguns and dumptrucks full of vast quantities of loud boards. Down the way the treecutters are into their second day of chainsawing and composting the results.

This sets off the neighborhood dogs, one of which is suspected to be a robot dog, but we’re not sure yet. One of the little yippy yappies is beside itself, periodically screeching in a deranged way.