There he was (not my UPS man, btw) in the middle of the aisle of the housewares department with a deer-in-the-headlights stare. Perhaps it was due to his long day. On a night when everyone had a long list, he didn’t seem to be clutching one. Did he forget it? Was he one of those guys who would buy a crockpot as a gift for his wife?

Let’s hope not, for her sake. If he did, it would be best for all concerned if he just rang the bell, left the package on the doorstep, and ran back to his truck.

What people miss about Christmas in a city where only 9.7 percent of the people believe that it’s an important holiday.

I needed bread and bananas. For breakfast this morning I was reduced to eating the undercooked gingerbread from yesterday, a poor start to a gloomy, dark, rainy day. I had to buy a mattress pad, and stood in line for a long time in that stale end-of-day air.

But shoppers have reached a certain level of desperation. At Costco, one woman filled her cart with 5 or 6 Harry and David gift baskets. The section of chocolates and other food gifts (depleted) was undergoing the transition to rosebushes and Quicken Tax software.

My son managed to purchase the set of wrenches his father wanted. Father was asked to look away when it was time to pay, much to the amusement of the checkout clerk.

Mom is buying enormous amounts of stuff. Two kids, about 7 and 8 maybe, are getting antsy. The boy has an action figure that he’s providing the voice for. ‘Ow! Ow!’, the figure bounces off the rolls of gift wrap. He’s loud. He gets into an argument with his sister. Mother rises up large, despite being several feet away. She booms out, ‘We’re goin’ HOME!’

The kids freeze. I can read their minds. It’s so close to Christmas. Gotta be good just a little longer.

Taking some freshly made candies to a friend this evening.

This time, it is the Beijiang river near the city of Shaoguan in Guangdong province. Residents have been told not to drink tap water after cadmium has been leaked into the river from a zinc and lead factory.

Note to self: never ever wear fuzzy socks while making pralines. Some will fall to the floor. It hardens very fast when it cools. Adheres to everything, especially soft, furry socks.

Trying this out for the first time.

Purists will not approve, but I balk at paying more than $6/lb for pecans. Using walnuts instead.

Gloria. And White Christmas by Tony Bennett.

An intolerable situation alleviated by a child’s toy. Do not try this at home. The procedure described here was conducted under the approval of real doctors (I think), who conclude that the Super Soaker was superior to ear-syringing devices used in the average exam room.

Last night, they were handing out $10 store vouchers with the purchase of a $50 gift card.

A fleeing robber escapes police by jumping into the tigers’ den in a South African Zoo. The result was inevitable.

Second batch of the day.

If you know someone is making nut brittle, do not call them. They are likely to have buttery hands, for one thing, and will be a long time getting to the phone. Then they might scrape too hard at the brittle later, causing it to shatter and pieces to fall to the floor. If the person is wearing fuzzy socks, this is not a happy thing.

Scroll down two paragraphs to find the discussion of traditions in Scandinavian countries and Estonia, where a small pig is roasted and arranged in an upright position at the table for several days.

Santa is working very hard these last days leading up to Christmas. He stopped off for a refreshing beverage or two, removing his beard in order to enjoy his breaktime, and looked up to see children staring through the pub windows.

More and more are opting for weight-loss surgery, with numbers rising by 450 percent between 1998 and 2002.

Now it is revealed that some girls take glee in removing Barbie’s head or limbs and otherwise mutilating, burning, microwaving, or freezing the doll. They don’t look upon it as ‘torture’, but more of a dismissing-the-doll-as-too-babyish act.

Someone likens it to the Mr. Potato Head concept of limb removal.

In Europe, they are the devices of choice for those who wish to lose weight without resorting to gastric bypass.

The balloon enters the stomach via the mouth, and is inflated in 15 minutes. Once in the stomach, it gives the patient a feeling of fullness after only a small amount of food.

With the other procedure, an adjustable band is put around the stomach to make it smaller.

Around our neighborhood, there are more than a few of those huge inflatable Santas and snowmen, bobbing around in the gusty winds. Some lawns sport three or more. I wonder what it’s like to be a small child looking out the window to see these gently moving giants, when he’s supposed to be sleeping.

Last year, they were the target of vandals. Some residents take down the figures at night, possibly to thwart such activities. It is a strange sight, these deflated, dejected, yet highly colorful distortions all over the lawns.

How some companies deal with the problem of business travelers who become ill while elsewhere.