At dinner, I had as much corned beef and cabbage as I wanted, but now I would really, really like a peanut butter and jam sandwich. I bought two jars of natural peanut butter today, stirred one up vigorously, and had a big spoonful. It was runny, so it was not quite the same experience as the Skippy low-fat I’ve had to resort to lately. In order to convince myself that I really, really don’t need to enjoy a PB&J on soft, white bread (which I no longer buy), I decided to read this . Unfortunately, it starts out talking about mashed potatoes, which I cannot have either. Near the bottom of the page, peanut butter is mentioned on the same line as quicksand, beach sand, and candy compounds. Which brings to mind fudge being stirred in the pot. Then there’s such a thing as peanut butter fudge.
Clearly, this is going in the wrong direction. Hope lies in this viscosity chart , where dangerous terms such as ‘Hershey chocolate syrup’ and ‘peanut butter’ are shoulder-to-shoulder with ‘blood or kerosene’, ‘anti-freeze’, ‘caulking compound’, and ‘motor oil’. I have achieved balance. I will sacrifice an orange.